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Today is my mom’s birthday, and this post is for her. Mother’s Day often falls on her birthday. And, I tease her that her birthday, Mother’s Day and even her wedding anniversary all come about in the same week, leaving no room for celebrations throughout the year.

In India, we worship Goddess Durga (Devi/Woman) and her nine avatars. If I had to choose one goddess who reflects my mom’s personality, it would be Devi Katyayani, fierce, graceful, and full of strength.

Youngest of four, while growing up, she had one elder brother and two sisters. Result – she was a pampered child. She fondly reflects on how my uncle used to take her on bike rides throughout the city. She grew up in a city with all the modern amenities. My grandpa’s house was not luxurious or anything, but it was big and spacious, with a mango tree in the front yard and a huge terrace. It was a kids’ wonderland.

My grandpa was an animal lover, so my mom always had a pet dog. I’ve seen many pictures of her growing up alongside dogs through the years. She also had a pet parrot, love birds, and a huge aquarium. I am pretty sure my mom didn’t help in taking care of or the maintenance of any of these things 😊. But she grew up loving nature and continues to enjoy gardening to this day.

It astonishes me that in spite of having a sheltered childhood, she grew up to be such an independent and responsible woman. Her marriage was arranged by her elders, but she had only one condition for my dad. That he would not stop her from working. She wanted to be a teacher and completed her master’s degree in language arts and continuing education. But my grandpa wouldn’t let her work.

I guess my dad fell for her tall, model-like personality, golden dusky complexion, big eyes and long black hair. Who wouldn’t? All this beauty, combined with her straightforwardness, makes her irresistible.

My mom isn’t the usual lovey-dovey, cuddly mom; there is no public display of affection. But when sick, she stays up all night for her children. She works tirelessly for the comfort and well-being of her family. She would fight fiercely if she felt that her children were being wronged. Her big, black, bold eyes announce that she is not the one to mess around with.

It is from her that I learned to speak up, have an opinion of my own and never let people walk over me or take advantage of me. There’s more to her exceptional personality; she is the epitome of the 90s superwoman. She worked around the clock with her full-time job as a teacher and also managed our home. If she was tired or stressed, she never let it show. My dad helped for sure, but my mom took the lion’s share of the load.

Now, when I see discussions on social media about the invisible workload women carry and the unrealistic “superwoman” image sold to earlier generations, I cannot help but feel for my mom and so many women of the ’90s era.

I still remember when my friends would bring roti and achaar (bread and pickle) for lunch, or Maggi (instant noodles), which would turn rock-hard by lunchtime. Meanwhile, my mom would get up every morning to prepare fresh, homemade lunches for all of us. She is an excellent cook and can prepare a wide range of cuisines.

Now that she has retired from her job, she is a bit relaxed. She likes to play Candy Crush on her phone and is always ready to learn new technology as long as it is fun. There has always been a goofy side to her. While watching movies or listening to funny stories, she laughs so hard that tears roll down her cheeks. She also has impeccable taste in films and art.

She adores her grandchildren and pampers them. But that’s not how she raised her own children 😊.

To give you an example of her wit and tact, I will share a few memories here. As a teenager, I wanted to start using makeup like other girls my age. My mom said, “If you do it now, then there will be nothing new or pretty about you when you go to University.”  After a while, I got infatuated with Bollywood, and I said, “I want to be an actor.” My mom said, “Sure, go ahead, but remember, actors don’t have a life of their own. You will have to always eat, sleep and dress according to other people. You will have to give up your favourite food, lazy and idle ways and everything that you like. Actors make a lot of sacrifices.” That’s it, the whole Bollywood fever vanished into thin air.

And yet, astonishingly, she is the same woman who stood by me in all my important life decisions, gave me the freedom to be who I want to be and most importantly, made me the strong and independent woman I am today.

My mom had a way of getting things done effortlessly, and here I am raising my boy, shouting all day in vain😊. It sounds cliché, and still, I always say that, “I understand my mom so much more now.”

Mom, I may shout on top of the mountain, “I am Daddy’s little princess.” But deep down, you and I both know that you are my pillar of strength. If I can ever become half the woman you are… Then I would call myself successful.

I love you, and I always need you. Happy Birthday 😊.

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